All those damn romantic comedies that make it look so fun and simple...they are full of lies, all lies!!
Seriously, Being a mom to 3 kids...the majority of my time is spent at home, work, and the grocery store. So unless they have home delivery..oh wait...nope never mind..haha!
Did you recently go through a divorce, separation or break up?
Well I am here to tell you and I am not sugar coating anything....it is damn hard to try and even begin dating again. Yes we have grown up some, matured from our last relationship/marriage...but it is a totally different experience dating when you are older.
First things first...if you seriously just came out of a relationship, are separated or recently divorced, this is the very first thing I want you to do:
TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF!! You truly need to do this. You need to find yourself again, regain those pieces of yourself that you might have lost. Regain a handle on your life, your priorities. This is not a simple task. I know that you may be saying "I have freedom!" or "I am back on the market."
There are reasons that your past relationship ended...don't try to jump right into another...it really can set you up for failure and how will you feel then? Just think about for a second.
-What are things that you loved to do before your were in a relationship?
-Hobbies that you might have given up?
-Places maybe you've never seen?
-Books you never read?
-Friends you haven't seen in a long time?
-College classes you might have wanted to take?
-Working towards a goal in your career or changing a career?
-If you have kiddos...things, places or activities you never got to do with your kids?
-Taking yourself out on a "date"
I'm not joking on this one!!
One weekend when my kids were gone to their Dad's, I was home alone on a Friday evening. I stopped by the grocery store and picked up myself one of those fancy individual packaged chicken breasts, some veggies for grilling and my favorite adult beverage.
I came home, it was a warm summer night so I fired up the grill.
Brought candles out to my patio table, along with a real table setting...hey, I was going all out for myself.
I turned on the stereo to my favorite radio station, cranked the music. I grilled my food, opened my chilled adult beverage, lit my candles & sat down to a fabulous dinner.
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| Pop Sugar- Things to Do Alone |
Now do I have a specific timeline of how long you should try this...No. My kids actually actually asked me only after 2 weeks of separation when I was going to start dating...seriously...I'm glad they were excited about it..haha! I spoke with friends & family...some gave me responses to try dating after about a month or two...others said to wait 7 years...Ummm, NO!! This is something you need to completely decide on your own.
I waited around 8 months...for my first attempt at dating. I had a really great time, but it wasn't meant to turn into a relationship. Was I hurt, Yes. Now you're probably saying "wait you just said it was "great"!". And honestly it was, he treated me like I had always imagined being treated. Unfortunately distance and careers did not make for ideal situation to start a relationship. And that is part of dating when your older...people have lives established..we have to be understanding & compromising to those things. It's not easy. It comes down to a little more of an investment...takes a little more work.
So what I am saying first...is INVEST in yourself!
How do you truly believe that you can offer someone time in your life...if you can't make time for yourself?
No short changing yourself...saying "Eh, I'm not worth it."...bullshit...you absolutely are!!
And keep dating yourself until that right person comes along!
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